Star Wars Episode II : Attack of the Clones is universally view the worst Star Wars film . Upon rewatching it , it ’s hard to disagree — but you do see lots of what George Lucas was trying to do . Most of which was abortive . Welcome to ourStar Wars pic rewatch !
fundamentally , Attack of the Clones is PG - rate Star Wars smut . It ’s an hodgepodge of wish - fulfilment , linked together by dialogue and plot of land that rarely justify their existence . In scene after aspect , we ’re exhibit with outcome , characters and more that we ’d always dreamed of seeing in a Star Wars movie , then we see those events and fictional character bungled thanks to big digital effects , dialogue and acting .
So what does that signify exactly ? Well , in Attack of the Clones , we get to see , or pick up , the following :
The eventual Emperor , Palpatine , rising to power
The internal workings of the central system of Coruscant
The first appearance of Princess Leia ’s adopted Fatherhood , Bail Organa
Jedi as imaginable bad guys
The origin of the mythological “ Clones ”
The blood line of Boba Fett
A character who looks like Boba Fett kicking ass
An action tantrum featuring Slave 1
How Anakin met the Lars family
new kids as Jedi
Yoda fighting
More Tusken Raiders
Anakin Skywalker starts to change by reversal to the dark side
Anakin and Padme falling in love
John Williams ’ The Imperial March
Jar Jar Binks becomes a bad guy rope – kind of
Jedi kicking ass at the acme of their power
activeness scenes with C-3PO and R2 - D2
The inception of the Death Star
Links between all the iconic Jedi , from Yoda all the way to Anakin
The beginnings of the Empire
The offset of the Clone Wars
There ’s probably more , too — and , granted , not every one of those things is something we ’d always wanted to see . But they ’re all — on paper — interesting addition or answers to the Star Wars universe . Things that fan had talked or conjecture about for decades . And in 2002 , if we told you a movie with all of those thing would work out so ill , you would n’t have believed it . But it ’s true .
frankly , it does n’t start out out that path . Attack of the Clones has a much strong opening than The Phantom Menace . There ’s an assassination attempt on Padme , followed by a character- and plot - motivated action mechanism vista flying around Coruscant . fundamentally , the first 30 minutes or so moves very , very quickly , and that ’s a honorable matter .
So where does it all go incorrect ?
The biggest perpetrator is George Lucas , both on the page and behind the tv camera . His dialog from the very first scene feels way more verbose and mechanical than most normal people verbalise , a problem he ’s had since the very first movie . As a result , the actors seem to be concentrating more on delivering the line correctly than the emotion of the performance . And that really hurt when you have an actor ( namely Hayden Christensen , but he ’s not the only culprit ) trying and failing to embody a super complex aroused eccentric .
Christensen ’s choice in almost every exclusive conniption in the motion-picture show are very off - putt . The first coming together with Padme , a girl he ’s supposedly been thinking of for years , is perfectly cringe inducing . ( “ So have you , grown more beautiful I mean . For a Senator , I mean . ” ) by and by , he just makes creepy-crawly eyes , like he need to murder her . At regular intervals , he snap at and disesteem his victor , Obi - Wan . Later , he whines and cries about not being the proficient Jedi ever , only a few years into his grooming .
The one scene where his performance does work , however , is the film ’s fundamental tantrum . After Anakin has slaughter the women and children of a Tusken Raider camp , his bratty , over - the - top pitch feel like a youthful stripling just starting to see his might . The fact we pick up some evil John Williams music subtly in the desktop plausibly helps too . But really , while Christensen ’s performance spends most of the movie try out to make sentience , in this scenery , it works .
But we ’re pay off ahead of ourselves . live ( mostly ) are the Trade Federations of The Phantom Menace . Instead we have a divided government on the threshold of warfare . It ’s a much more relatable construct and , from there , Lucas attempts to pull up an Empire Strikes Back by sending all his master characters off on their own risky venture . Anakin and Padme go to Naboo , then Tatooine . Meanwhile , Obi - Wan depart to Camino , then Geonosis . On newspaper , it in all likelihood seemed like it would act great .
Of naturally , things then stumble . On the elbow room to Naboo , Anakin and Padme talk about beloved in a scene that ’s project to make his sexual advances when they get to the planet less surprising . But Anakin just has this grinning plastered across his facial expression the intact sentence which has no romantic vibe whatsoever .
Obi - Wan has to figure out how to find Jango Fett , so he go to meet Dexter Jettster ( above ) , a character almost on par with Jar Jar Binks . Dex is hard to look at ( once you discover his terrible moustache you ’ll never see anything else ) , his human relationship with Obi - Wan is cryptic , and how he has all this information is indecipherable . Even Ewan McGregor has no idea what ’s happening in this aspect . Is he flirt with Dex ?
So both dangerous undertaking get off on the ill-timed base . At this full stop though , they go in opposite directions for a little bit . While Anakin and Padme ’s Naboo courtship feels incredibly force , Obi - Wan ’s trip to Camino is actually kind of interesting . It broadens the plot of land quite a bit , even if it still does n’t make a short ton of sense .
( Side note : Everyone loves to express mirth at Anakin ’s speech about sand but , he was a slave on a sand planet . Sure it ’s super pointless dialogue for him to deliver to a woman he ’s hear to woo but if I grew up on Tatooine , I ’d hate sand too . In the overall scheme of this movie , it ’s not penny-pinching to the worst affair that happens . )
As ram and muddled as the courtship between Anakin and Padme is , it ’s obviously an indispensable slice of the overall puzzle of Star Wars . It ’s a nice affair to see , but it ’s just handled so terribly . “ You are in my very psyche torment me ? ” Really ? It just sound like robots talk . And why are you guys eating pear tree with fork and knives ?
On the other hand , the oddity of Obi - Wan finding out about the clones works because he ’s strike so off safeguard by everything he ’s find out . That ’s followed by him fighting Jango Fett , which is kind of cool but does n’t find particulraly motivated at all . That mean , in the next scene as Obi - Wan chases Jango in space , it feels like an add - on to an already semi - tedious scene . But , in the prequels , action at law scenes are king and these are two good one , even if they do n’t really progress the game much .
Next , Anakin has a dream and decide he has to go to Tatooine to free his female parent . Why he has n’t done this before , we do n’t know . possibly because Obi - Wan would n’t let him ? Jedi are n’t supposed to have attachments ? Either way , he ’s a few hebdomad too late , because his female parent has been captured . That land us to the aforesaid massacre scene and first material hint that Anakin is super messed up . The next one is when he ’s talking to Shmi ’s grave accent and seems insistent that he ’ll finally be capable to beat death . We acknowledge this is a key ingredient to his eventual fall to the Dark Side , but it feel like the most irrational , childish matter to ever want . Is that the point ? Maybe , but it does n’t work on .
What does work , and is one of Lucas ’ few strokes of genius , is how Palpatine uses Jar Jar Binks to give him power that will eventually make him the Emperor . This demeaning Jar Jar scene always feel like George ’s apology for using him so much in Episode I , and it almost induce that worth it . Almost .
Unfortunately , just when you thought things may be getting better , we leap into human activity three . It begins with Anakin and Padme in one of the most superfluous action scenes ever put on moving-picture show , in the droid factories of Geonosis . Lucas shot this after the fact to add more action into the movie , but I ca n’t aid but recall how much better everything would ’ve been without it . It also would ’ve sped things up and removed the horribly unfunny arc C-3PO has in the film ’s finis as a Battle Droid .
Then it bump . The biggest leap in the history of Star Wars . On the brink of last , Padme confesses her lovemaking for Anakin . It ’s so out of left discipline , even in the movie the character of Anakin is surprised to hear it . “ I truly , deeply , love you , ” she tell . Too bad we scarce get that sense before that . I could n’t aid but express mirth that Lucas made the decision to have Anakin act so shocked . It almost feels like an admission price he was n’t sure how to get the characters to this head , but had to , and here it is .
From there , it ’s the expectant action closing curtain that starts like Braveheart with lightsabers and quick drop to faceless computer good guys fighting faceless information processing system bad Guy , in the sand . In 2002 , I found these fit to be absolutely incredible . Today , they are kind of terrible . A little beautiful , but kind of awful .
Which lead us to the master event . Count Dooku vs. Anakin and Obi - Wan , follow by Dooku vs. Yoda . Much like the last of The Phantom Menace , both of these scene are beautifully choreographed and pip , but much less exciting than I think . When the film as released , the moment Yoda took out his lightsaber was so galvanic , it was operose not to jolly up in the field . But now , after years of The Clone Wars and such , its lost some of its cachet .
Still , after all that , all those missteps and misfires , I utterly love the end of Attack of the Clones . Each of the key scenes work out on multiple levels and while it ’s not the termination of The Empire Strikes Back , it aim to be .
You ’ve got the snap of the Clones getting quick for the Clone War , and though they ’re the good guys at this item , we know that this is the startle of something much worse and full-grown : The Empire . Then there ’s Anakin and Padme ’s wedding , an result that should be joyous , but it ’s Anakin willingly turn down the Jedi code he ’s sworn to follow . So it ’s basically the moment he finally intromit he ’s willing to go to the Dark Side . Whether or not Lucas ’ direction conveys that mixed message is debatable , but it ’s there .
Attack of the Clones deserve almost all of the hatred people give it . There are big theme and tons of fanservice to be had , they ’re just wrapped up in an uneven , mostly awkward and unsettling movie . And as much as you want to blame Hayden Christensen , some of his other flick ( such a Life as a House and Shattered Glass ) prove he can act . It was the material , plain and simple .
Next week :
And , here ’s last week ’s piece in event you missed it .
https://gizmodo.com/star-wars-the-phantom-menace-doesnt-really-get-what-it-1742188503
get in touch with the author at[email protect ] .
Hayden ChristensenStar Wars
Daily Newsletter
Get the best tech , science , and culture news in your inbox daily .
news program from the future , deliver to your present .
